Switch 43/50
Dec. 11th, 2009 11:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ceres_liberaTitle: "Switch" (43/50)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ceres_libera
Rating: R to NC-17
Summary: The life and times of Leonard H. McCoy MD/PhD … If Leonard McCoy's life could get any fucking weirder, it would be … Jesus, he didn't even want to think what that could possibly mean, because it's already been too fucking weird to make any kind of rational sense.
Canon: Based in the ST:XI universe, but strongly influenced by all canon ST-verses.
Characters: McCoy/Kirk, with eventual appearances by all other ST:XI characters.
Notes: Say ... remember back in the first chapter, when Leo was thinking about how it was the fourth night with no Jim in his bed? Well. This is night two, and the beginning of day three, of those four nights. Also, LJ notifications have been very wonky, so if I haven't responded to your comment, it might just be because I don't know it's there, but ... I do thank you. And Happy Hannukkah to those of you celebrating it!
+
Leo couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so tired, but honestly wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep. Absently, he tried to recall the long-term biochemical effects of a hyper-adrenalized state, but kept getting stuck on PTSD and anger. He couldn’t say if the former state would apply to him, but he was absolutely positive that the latter certainly did, although truthfully, he was by and large a relatively grumpy bastard. But in this situation, it wasn’t just him who was short-tempered because there was no doubt in his mind that Jim, Scotty, Pike and -- God help them all because he certainly was a scary motherfucker when he was angry -- Spock met that criteria.
Come to think of it, Scotty might meet the psychosis threshold, what with his state of near apoplexy as it had become clear that the Spacedock and Central Fleet Engineering were in agreement that the Enterprise could not make the jump into warp in its current state, even while being towed. Scotty’s heated insistence that the Enterprise would hold together in the jump to warp had been overruled. It was understandable –- the Fleet hadn’t just lost life, but an extraordinary number of ships –- so the Central Fleet’s concern about the structural integrity of its newest and largest flagship was understandable. Besides, although Leo was a doctor and not a structural engineer, even he understood that the forces exerted on the ship when it had been struggling to break away from the black hole had been of a magnitude never before measured. In the end, Scotty had been left to mournfully plea, “Oh, my lady,” when Jim and Pike had finally accepted that they were not going to change anyone’s mind.
Unlike Scotty, Leo had known that arriving at Spacedock would mean that he would soon be leaving his patients behind. What he hadn’t counted on was how wrenching it would be to transfer the Farragut crew who were still recovering. Gaila had been stoic, but the whispered conversations between her and Nyota had been marked with tears on both sides, and Leo had had to fight with himself to not insist that she continue on to Earth with them, despite knowing that it was neither regulation nor true medical necessity. He had stated that he believed that Gaila’s recovery would be expedited by her proximity to her friends, especially considering the traumatic circumstances of her injury and rescue, but Gaila’s own history of resilience had hampered his ability to carry that argument. Gaila had chosen to leave everything that she knew behind once before to achieve her freedom –- in view of that, a separation of a week’s time was considered negligible.
Even Spock couldn’t manage to sway the CMO of the Spacedock, a Denobulan doctor who seemed impervious to his arguments and appearance. Privately, Leo believed that Spock had thought that a Vulcan making a plea for the Orion to stay with them would be positively answered. After all, Dr. Ploss had originally argued that T’enev should stay at Spacedock as well, but allowed herself to be swayed by what was left of the Vulcan High Command when they had insisted that separating her from their group would not only be illogical but possibly detrimental, given her tenuous emotional state. However, what had swayed Dr. Ploss in T’enev’s case would not work in Gaila’s. Frankly, Leo had been stunned that Dr. Ploss hadn’t had contact burns from the weight of Spock’s smoldering gaze upon her after he saw Nyota’s tears.
The change in plans had also meant that it was necessary for the entire complement of the Enterprise’s personnel to be transferred over to the Potemkin for the return to Earth. Even with casualties, the crew that needed to be accommodated was more than twice what was already aboard the Potemkin, which meant that Leo was currently stumbling his way toward the shuttle bay where cots had been set out for the Enterprise crew to rest for the time they’d be aboard. Captain Benaka of the Potemkin had offered to house the command crew in better quarters than the rest of Enterprise’s staff, but Jim had barely glanced at the other senior officers to ascertain their position before he’d refused the offer. Starfleet was big on preservation of rank, but after what they’d been through in the past few days it was probably better that the Enterprise crew remain together, even in crowded quarters.
Leo only hoped that Jim would make it down to the shuttle bay at some point. He’d noticed how the crew responded to Jim, how they seemed to stand a little taller in his presence, the way that Jim could make tired faces brighten with a word or a smile. All the potential that Leo had seen -- so long ago it seemed now, that first day that he’d seen Jim with the KFF –- was being realized. But Scotty wasn’t the only one who would feel adrift now that they were no longer on the Enterprise. Without work to occupy their hands and minds, darker thoughts and bigger sorrows would seep in. Leo had known that it was only a matter of time, that once the crew got back to the Academy and separated, returning to empty dorms or God help them, empty homes, that the grief would begin to set in. Starfleet had lost so many people already, but … there were bound to be a number on the Enterprise who had survived but found themselves incapable of making the trip out into the black again.
Even with the shuttle bay lights on low, there was a hum of noise when Leo crossed the threshold. Crewmen were laying on cots, but there was very little sleeping going on from what Leo could see. Instead, Leo saw earnest conversations taking place between cots that had been pushed together so that they could hold more than two people. He noted crewmen sitting on the floor next to a friend in a bunk, talking in low voices. In the middle of the bay, a large card game was going on, with six or seven participants and several onlookers. Smaller games were being played elsewhere, even as some crewman lay on their bunks and read, others wrote letters or in journals. Even worse, some crewman just lay there, perfectly still, eyes opened but unfocused.
Leo walked by the loose rows of Enterprise personnel, acknowledging the stray ‘hey Doc’ from weary personnel with a nod. He had to resist the urge to stop and scan certain of them, knowing that they’d all been triaged at Spacedock earlier, and that many had already been referred to counseling. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were all of them his responsibility, or the worry that he felt at the sleeplessness and the haunted expressions that he saw.
He stopped and strode through the rows of crew members when he saw Uhura’s long ponytail hanging over the edge of a bed. She was curled on her side away from him, with her eyes closed, but the buds in her ears made it clear that she was most likely still awake, and listening to something. Still, he hesitated, almost turning away before she rolled onto her back.
“Leonard?” she asked, her tone sounding worried.
“Just checking on you, Nyota,” he said gruffly. “You were upset the last time I saw you.”
Nyota smiled softly, her long lashes closing over her eyes for a second before she looked up at him. “Thank you,” she said softly. “And thanks for trying.”
“Just doing my job,” he said. “I only wish they would have listened to me.”
“Me, too,” she said in a soft voice.
“She’ll be fine, Nyota,” Leo said quietly.
Nyota nodded. “I know,” she said softly. “After everything that’s happened, I know that my reasoning is illogical, but I feel like she’d be safer if she were with us.”
Leo nodded. “Darlin’ that’s a completely understandable point of view, and maybe it’s not as illogical as you think. After all, we survived something that most of the people we set out with didn’t.”
Nyota’s luminous eyes were thoughtful. “I know,” she said, “but we were on the Enterprise then, too.”
“Lieutenant,” Spock’s voice had an edge to it that Leo couldn’t quite identify, but nonetheless heard. “Is all well?”
My God, why didn’t the green-blooded bastard just say ‘is this man bothering you?’
“All is well, Commander,” Nyota said serenely.
“Do you require more blankets?” Spock asked.
Leo had crossed his arms over his chest in perturbation at Spock’s ridiculous posturing, but now he raised a hand to hide a smile behind it. Nyota had been laying on the bed with the covers piled on her lower legs, but now that she was sitting up, leaning back on one hand, her ridiculously short fleet uniform exposed quite a bit of her smooth toned thigh.
“I’m fine, Commander,” Nyota said, raising an eyebrow. “But thank you for being thoughtful.”
“Of course,” Spock said smoothly, his hands clasped behind him. It was clear that he had no intention of going anywhere while Leo was near his lover.
For the first time in days, Leo really could have laughed out loud. In fact, he felt the ragged edge of laughter threatening and knew that if it broke out that he’d be crying, too, so he quelled it with a scowl. “Where is the Captain, Spock?” he asked. Then clarified, “Kirk,” at Spock’s raised eyebrow.
“He should be concluding a communication with Starfleet Command within the next hour or so,” Spock said.
Leo sighed. “I hope that he can get a little sleep before we get back planetside,” he said. “I can’t imagine what kind of a clusterfuck that’s going to be.”
Spock’s eyebrow raised even higher. “My understanding of that particular term is not precise,” he said. “To what aspect do you refer?”
Leo shook his head. “Spock,” he said grimly. “Every news organization in the universe is going to want a piece of us.” And Jim, he thought, Jim especially.
Spock nodded. “Yes,” he said, “I expect they will. But I would also expect that Starfleet will keep them away from us.”
Leo looked from Spock to Uhura and back again in amazement. “Spock,” he said slowly. “George Kirk’s son defeated the madman who killed his father, and saved Earth from Vulcan’s fate. There’s no way that Starfleet isn’t going to want to play that story up. Hell, I thought they were relentless last month when it was the 25th anniversary of the Kelvin’s destruction, but that? That’s going to seem like a picnic compared to what we’re in for.” Nyota was seriously considering his words. “The press is going to be all over us,” he said. “You and Jim most of all, Spock.” He put a hand on the man’s shoulder briefly. “You better prepare yourself. Nyota,” he said turning to the younger woman, “it’s always lovely to speak with you, darlin’.”
He moved through the rest of the command crew to an empty bunk on the periphery that already had his gear on it. Raji and Sen occupied two of the nearby cots, and they watched as he shucked his boots and laid down. “You guys should try and get some sleep,” he said, keeping his tone kind but firm.
“Kinda loud,” Raji said, but he lay down.
Leo thought about how quiet it was likely to be back on campus and had to suppress a shiver. He pulled the blanket up to his neck and rolled over onto his side. “Just give it a shot,” he said. “You’ve maybe got an hour to get some shut eye before we’re back dirtside.” He closed his own eyes.
“Is Jim onboard?” Sen asked.
Leo opened his eyes. “He’s on a comm,” he said.
“OK,” Sen said, laying down and closing his eyes.
Jim Kirk, lucky charm, Leo thought, watching both Raji and Sen settle down after having heard that reassurance. Then he closed his own eyes again and willed himself to sleep.
+
When he opened his eyes again, Jim was leaning with his head against his knees, eyes incredibly blue over the black fabric, watching him. God, he looked exhausted.
“Jim,” Leo said, clearing his throat. “You gotten any sleep in the past 48?”
Jim shrugged, but he didn’t answer otherwise.
“We almost dirtside?” Leo asked, stretching.
“Yeah,” Jim said, voice muffled.
Leo squinted and looked at him. “Your back bugging you, Jim?”
“Pike made the doc upstairs put a regen blanket on me while we were talking,” he said, sidestepping the question neatly.
“Good idea,” he said. He’d swiped one of them from the Enterprise himself earlier, for just that reason. He scratched at his chest and flipped open his comm to see the time, drawing down his brows in consternation. “Why the fuck are we still in transit?” he asked Jim in a low growl.
Jim reached out a hand and snagged the end of Leo’s cot, pulling it toward the bulkhead he was braced against. He turned so that his back was to the cot, and then tilted his head in Leo's direction.
Leo pushed the pillow over so that if Jim put his head back, it wouldn’t be resting on the bar of the cot. “Jim?” he asked, sure that he wasn’t going to like the answer.
“We’re still in transit, Bones,” Jim said flatly, “so that we’ll be back on Earth just in time for the morning news on the East Coast of North America.”
“Goddamnit,” Leo said. “Those motherfuckers.” He looked up and even in the low light of the shuttle bay he could see that Spock was awake and unless he missed his guess, listening to their conversation.
“Yeah,” Jim said. He let his head fall back heavily and scrubbed a hand over his face.
Leo’s hands itched to touch him, to do something to soothe him, but he was conscious of their lack of privacy. He was, in fact, hyperaware of the fact that there were hundreds of people around them, all of whom had comms with vid capacity. He wasn’t concerned about the Enterprise crew, but even in the low light, it was obvious that there were more people wandering around this section of the shuttle bay than there had been previously, all of them seemingly trying to get a glimpse of Jim’s bright head. Leo scowled at the thought, remembering how Jim had gone to ground just weeks before to avoid the glare of publicity over the Kelvin’s 25th anniversary. He wouldn’t be able to do the same thing this time.
“Jesus, Jim,” Leo said, curling as close to Jim as he dared. “This is going to suck, isn’t it?”
Jim’s blue eyes gleamed at him in the half-light, a bemused half-smile curling his generous lips. There were still faint rings of bruises around his eyes and on his throat. “And not in the good way, Bones,” he agreed, trying for levity. He stared at Leo for an instant longer, his eyes bleak.
“Just rest for a few minutes, kid,” Leo sighed. “At least until we get there.”
Jim’s eyes dropped closed and he smiled again, but he was quiet until the ship’s broadcast about them docking at San Francisco High was announced.
+
It was strange to be back in his Cadet reds, stranger still to see so much of the command crew returned to them as well. It made them look younger somehow, reminded Leo of exactly what had been accomplished, and what had been lost.
They’d been standing outside the Potemkin’s transporter room for well over an hour while the crew was beamed down in shifts. The command crew would be the last to go down, and although Jim had argued that Captain Pike should be the very last one to beam off the ship, he’d been overruled by Dr. Boyce, who was understandably anxious to see how his longtime friend was doing. Pike and T’enev had beamed down first, and then they’d been lined up in the hallway with some PR apparatchik who’d beamed up to scrutinize them. The apparatchik, whose name Leo had already forgotten, had pissed Leo off by stopping Leo from running a regen on Jim’s face, stating that Jim should stay as he was for ‘verisimilitude’.
Leo, who had waited to start regenerating Jim's bruises until the only members of the crew left were those that he trusted, had bristled at the word, pointing out that it wasn’t verisimilitude when it had actually occurred, but from the puzzled frown on the Commander’s face he could tell that he hadn’t been understood. It was extremely galling, to say the least. Besides, they were going to be beamed down into an area with only Starfleet personnel before they’d be allowed to go to where their families, and the press would be. The press wouldn’t be allowed to actually interview them at this time, but they sure as hell would be allowed to take video of happy family reunions, to record what should be private, between spouses, and parents and children. He was half-hoping that Gram wouldn’t be waiting for him, but knew that she would weather whatever would happen. His other half was grinding its teeth at the idea that Jim would most likely not have anyone waiting for him in the family waiting area –- other than Gram, that was.
When Commander PR Drone had been distracted by his constantly buzzing comm, the Bridge crew came to tell Jim that the senior staff was intending to wait for him in beam down area.
“We’re going to walk out of there as a team,” Sulu said firmly, Chekov nodding next to him.
“Besides,” Scotty said, “the more of us there are, the harder it’ll be for them to get to ye and Mr. Spock. The Security boyos are going to wait for us, too.”
Jim had looked from face to face of the group around him, his eyes stopping on Spock and then on Leo, as if seeking their approval.
“I think it’s a fine idea, Jim,” Leo said.
“I concur,” Spock said.
A ghost of a smile appeared on Jim’s tired face, but behind it Leo could sense the surprise that he felt but wasn’t showing. “Thank you, Mr. Sulu,” he said to the earnest young man who’d presented the plan.
“No sir, thank you,” Sulu said emphatically. He held out a hand. “I hope that we have the chance to serve together again, Captain.”
Jim smiled honestly then, and shook the Lieutenant’s hand, clasping him on the shoulder. As Leo watched, the remaining members of the Enterprise that were aboard lined up to shake hands with a clearly touched Jim, before the next group was called into the transporter room.
Jim was silent, leaning against the wall while the next few groups were called in.
“What’re you thinking about, Jim?” Leo asked.
“Debriefings,” Jim said, then looked at Leo before dropping his eyes to his hands. “The press.”
Leo began to fidget with the ring on his finger, only consciously realizing what he was doing when he saw Jim’s gaze slide over to his hands. He realized with a start that he should give the ring back but before he could even voice the thought, Jim started speaking again.
“What happens next,” he said.
“Pardon?” Leo asked.
Jim turned toward him so that his back was to Spock, Uhura, Scotty, Chekov and Sulu. Leo heard the echo of the elder Spock’s words as he realized with a start that the nucleus, the family that he had described, were those standing closest to them.
“That’s what I’m thinking about,” Jim said slowly, “what happens next.” Jim’s eyes were incredibly blue in the bright light of the Potemkin’s halls and there was something in the way he said the words, so deliberately, something in the way his lashes dropped over his eyes when he looked down at his father’s ring on Leo’s hand before he looked up at him again, that made Leo almost need to catch his breath.
He searched Jim’s expression, seeing his seriousness and his sincerity, but damned the circumstances that continuously seemed to be conspiring against them.
Jim’s eyes dropped to regard the ring again, just as Commander PR Drone, clapped -- literally clapped at them like they were five year olds -- to get them to go into the transporter room. “All except you, Commander Spock, and you Acting Captain Kirk,” he said in an obnoxious tone.
“What?” Leo asked, clearly irritated. He could smell Uhura’s perfume, and knew that she’d appeared by his side.
“You five,” he waved his hand dismissively, “beam down now, and then the Commander and the Captain will beam down last.”
“I recognize that there are only six stations on the transporter pad, Commander Ellsbridge,” Spock inserted smoothly, before anyone else could speak. “But protocol decrees that the Captain should be the last person off the ship.”
“But this isn’t his ship,” Commander Ellsbridge said with a toothsome smile, “so that doesn’t necessarily apply here. Besides, you and the Captain were the team that defeated the Romulans, so …”
Leo didn’t think he’d ever seen Jim’s back so stiff. “The entire team was integral to the success of the plan,” he said. “We formulated it together, and we all had our roles.”
“I’m sure,” the Commander said airily, dismissing Jim’s protests. “Nonetheless, you and Commander Spock will beam down together, at the end.”
“I believe,” Spock said, “that we were told that only Starfleet personnel will be waiting for us upon our immediate arrival.”
“Yes,” the Commander said. “And?”
“Then I fail to see the point in breaking the protocol,” Spock answered.
Jim’s smile was grim. “So that they have a story to tell in their press releases, right, Commander?”
His smile was patently false in return. “It’s all about presentation,” he answered. “And it’s an order from the Admiralty.”
“For the love of –-" Leo began to say in protest, but he followed the others as they stomped into the transporter room, Spock and Jim trailing behind. They stood side by side behind the work station on the Potemkin and watched them swirl away. Jim’s expression was the last thing he saw before the white overtook him, and he carried the weight of his tight miserable appearance with him as he rematerialized a blessed eyeblink later.
He was still shaking himself out when he moved into the waiting area outside the transport bay and heard, “Leonard!” and turned to find himself with arms full of Patty Stefanakis.
“Oh, thank God,” she was saying over and over as she hugged him. He could feel her trembling against him and he bent down so she could kiss him, which she did, clasping his head in both of her hands. “Thank God, thank God, thank God.”
“I’m fine, Patty,” he said to her, and she drew back and looked at him, her face covered with tears.
“I sincerely fucking doubt that, my friend,” she said, “but you are alive, and that is all I care about.”
She let go of him, and before Leo could offer his condolences about Shohreh he was surprised to see Harry Yu standing right behind her, but even more so when the huge man engulfed him in a hug and picked him right up off the ground.
“Jesus, McCoy,” he said. “It’s good to see you.”
“How’s Paul?” Leo asked, when he could breathe again.
“He’s fine,” he answered. “Upset. He wanted to come, but he's on duty.”
Leo nodded, and was about to ask after other colleagues when he heard Yu exclaim, “Jim!” The crowd of Starfleet personnel broke out in applause at the sight of Jim, and Leo watched him walk through the crowds, looking uncomfortable in a way that was probably only obvious to him, as people shook his hand and patted him on the back and told him that he was a hero. At least they weren’t touching Spock, who was radiating a serene yet clear message of ‘don’t fuck with me’.
Jim looked relieved when he saw Leo and moved through the crowd toward him, giving Leo an absolutely clear view of the utter shock on Jim’s face when Patty launched herself at him and wrapped him up in a hug. The expression on Jim's face went from closed to touched as Patty cried, holding onto him and whispering, “Thank God you’re all right, Jim.” She pulled back from him and smiled tremulously, looking at him. “I was so worried about you.”
The smile that Jim flashed her in return was sincere and heartfelt –- Leo could tell that Jim hadn’t expected being appreciated for simply being alive, that he was expecting more of the hero worship to which he’d already been subjected -- and Leo only turned around when he heard a sound of protest from behind him after something metallic hit the ground.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Cupcake was saying to somebody who was clearly a member of the PR team, and had been holding a holovid recorder until Cupcake had knocked him over. “That was so clumsy of me. Let me help you up.” Another red-shirted crewmember that Leo recognized from the Enterprise moved over to help Hanlon and somehow they both managed to step on the camera.
Leo had to give Hanlon credit, the boy was surprisingly nimble for his size, and clearly could think on his feet. The hapless videographer scowled as he collected his shattered equipment, and cleared the room with an assistant, muttering about getting other cameras from the outside press area.
“Not bad,” Yu said in low voice right next to Leo's ear.
Leo shook his head in wonder, turning back to see Patty wiping her eyes and stepping back from Jim. The crowd of strangers had thinned out as the phalanx of Enterprise crew who had waited for Jim and Spock to appear had managed to circle them and keep outsiders from getting to close to their Captain. Here and there, Leo saw a few faces that he recognized from the Academy, instructors like Harry who'd used their clearance to get into the room.
“Jimbo!” Yu said, picking up Jim in a bear hug and squeezing.
“Harry!” Leo roared, “his ribs!”
Jim was laughing, though, his face flushed and happy. Still, he bent over a little and braced his hands on his knees when Harry put him down, and Leo couldn’t stop himself from hurrying over to scan him despite Jim’s protests.
“I find that I approve of the doctor's solicitousness,” a voice said from behind him with a kind of oily affect that Leo could not help but recognize. “After all, I’m going to need you in tip-top shape for the next few days.”
”Excuse me?” Jim said, still catching his breath as he straightened up. “Admiral?”
“Howlett,” the man practically purred, and Jim blanched, even before he added with satisfaction, “And this time, Mr. Kirk, you will not be able to escape me. You owe me, and you owe Starfleet, and I intend to see that you pay.”
There was something so smugly self-satisfied about Howlett's tone, and all Leo could think about was the misery on Jim's face that night on the hill outside San Francisco, and the idea, the idea that Jim owed Starfleet anything when he had saved the lives of every single being on this planet … for the first time in his life, Leo understood what it meant to be so infuriated that you saw red, because a wash of color flared up in his peripheral vision as red as the Cadet uniforms around him, or the blood of the human injured and the maimed that he’d tried to heal, and he just … the scanner was still in his right hand when he clenched it as he turned, so without conscious thought he hauled off and threw the punch with his left arm, feeling a kind of satisfaction he’d never before felt when it connected solidly with Admiral Howlett’s jaw and his head snapped back as he fell to the ground.
There was a collective intake of breath, like a gasp, and then a murmur of voices that was eclipsed by Jim's anguished cry of "Bones!" as he wrapped his arms around him and pulled Leo back.
Howlett lay on the floor but pushed himself up to a sitting position unsteadily, rubbing at his jaw, his eyes furious and snapping. "I’ll have you in the brig for that, McCoy. I owe you that much."
He pulled his hand away from his jaw as he spoke and Leo could only note with satisfaction, despite his pounding heart, that there was a discoloration from George Kirk’s ring. And God help him, he liked seeing that, felt a deep pleasure at knowing that he'd been able to throw that punch, maybe for the both of them in some way.
"I don’t think so," a voice said from behind him, and he heard and felt Jim's intake of breath at the cool, measured tone, feminine but with an edge like steel.
He turned with Jim, and even without an introduction, he would have recognized the woman walking toward them in Science blues for who she was. Jim's jawline was an echo of hers, the set of the eyes the same, even though their color was a darker and more stormy blue.
"Commander Kirk," Howlett said, waving off Ellsbridge's hand and standing up, pulling his shirt over his ample belly. "I can hardly see how this would matter to you, but you have no authority here."
"Really?" Winona Kirk said, coming over to stand next to her son and Leo. She looked at Jim for a long instant, her mouth softening into something not quite a smile.
"Mom …" Jim said in a tone of voice that Leo had never before heard him use.
Winona Kirk laid a hand on her son's arm. "Trust me," she said to Jim in a voice so quiet that Leo was sure that only he and Jim had heard it.
In profile, mother and son resembled each other even more strongly with their willowy frames and stern jawlines. Leo watched as Jim's eyes flicked back and forth over his mother's, the set of his brow telling him that trust and his mother weren't necessarily compatible notions in Jim's mind. Their silent communication lasted for a few seconds longer, and then Winona turned back to Howlett and spoke in her clear, cool voice. She left her hand on her son's arm.
"And how is it, Admiral Howlett," she said, "that this is none of my business?"
Howlett straightened up from where he'd been dusting off his pants, lifting his jaw. "It's assault on a senior office," Howlett said simply. "Open and shut."
Leo watched as Winona's eyes narrowed and turned from the developing bruise on Howlett's face to his hands. He saw the faintest ghost of a smile flicker over her face as she focused on the ring on his left hand, before she returned her attention to Howlett and said. "I hardly think that anything you'd have to say is going to carry any weight after I submit copies of all of the messages you left for me in January to the Admiralty," she said clearly. "All the hectoring and the bullying -- the threats," she emphasized, "of what you would do to me, of the stories that you'd make sure were released, if I wouldn't consent to interviews about the 25th anniversary of my husband's death."
Howlett had stopped fussing with his pants. "There's nothing on those messages that I'm ashamed of," he said.
"Really?" Winona said. "Not even the one that you left me after I begged you, I begged you, not to release the tape of my husband's and my last conversation?"
Leo was standing close enough to Jim that he could feel Jim's muscles hardening, hear his respiration increasing and becoming harsh. He didn't need to glance down to know that Jim's hands were clenched into fists, and he put a hand on Jim's back, glancing over to where Harry Yu stood. One nod let him know that Harry was ready to intercede if things got worse.
Howlett appeared to be carefully considering what to say next, and Leo noted that his attaché Ellsbridge looked more than a bit discomfited by Winona's words.
"I heard later," Winona said evenly, "that there were other members of the Admiralty, members who'd served with my husband, or me, or our fathers," she stressed, "who were unhappy about the release of those tapes. Now," she said with a cold smile, "exactly how unhappy do you think they'll be when they hear you threatening me, the widow of one of Starfleet's greatest heroes, and the mother of another?" She paused and took a step forward. "I think," she said, "that when I tell the Admiralty why I did it, that they'll believe that I was entirely justified in hitting a senior officer who threatened me in such a fashion."
Howlett laughed. "That won't work," he said.
Winona Kirk flipped open her comm and scrolled backwards with an air of nonchalance.
"There's no need –- " Howlett began.
Winona smiled and pressed a button. "Commander Kirk," Howlett said in a snide voice, "you know there really is some very interesting reading in your personnel file –- not to mention that of your son. I've tried to be reasonable, but if you persist in not returning my calls, I'm afraid that some of this interesting information may become public. Security breaches, while regrettable, can and do occur and …" Winona snapped her comm shut while Howlett's recorded voice was still speaking.
There was absolute silence in the room, and Leo looked around, seeing the hard expressions on the knot of people that surrounded them.
"I don't think," she said clearly, "that anyone here would blame me for belting you in the mouth."
Howlett smiled, but it was cold, the smile of a man used to getting his own way, to spinning the story to his own advantage, whatever that might be. "Only one problem with your scenario," he said, then waved a hand in Leo's direction. "Dr. McCoy assaulted me, not you."
Winona Kirk's answering smile was toothy and all-too reminiscent of one that Leo had seen over the past few years, and if he hadn't known where to look he would have missed it when she lashed out and belted Howlett but good, as Jim surged forward only to be cut off by a wall of red shirts.
Leo blinked and sidestepped the Enterprise's security team and saw Howlett sagging against a disgusted looking Ellsbridge before he pushed him away, Howlett still staggering.
"Easily remedied," Winona Kirk said in a suspiciously mild tone, shaking out her hand and inspecting her knuckles.
And damn, Leo thought, Jim Kirk had gotten more than his stubbornness and a fair part of his good looks from his mama, because that right hook had looked mighty familiar.
"And now," Winona said, taking a step closer to the Admiral, "it will be your word against mine."
"You'll never get away with this," Howlett spat, "not with all these witnesses."
Leo looked around at again at the crowd as Jim got to his mother's side and stood there, chest heaving, staring at her, wide-eyed.
Winona looked at her son, and then around at the crowd, meeting the eyes of person after person. "I think," she said mildly, "that I'll take my chances."
"Mom," Jim protested in a worried tone, while Howlett raged in the background. The Enterprise's security crew had moved to cut off his access to Jim and made an impenetrable phalanx that he couldn't get around.
"Jim," Winona said with a soft smile. "Your crew is waiting for their Captain to walk out with them."
"Mom …" Jim repeated gently, but Winona caught his chin and turned his head so that he could see them all, the Bridge crew, the department heads, and senior officers and a fair number of cadets. Spock and Scotty stood shoulder to shoulder with Uhura, Chekhov and Sulu, waiting.
"C'mon, Captain," Nyota said, waving them forward.
"I'll see you later, Jim," Winona said, stepping up on her toes to press a kiss to Jim's cheek. "I promise." She gave Jim a small push in the direction of the crew, and then turned to look at Leo with a stare that clearly said, 'what are you waiting for?'
"Ma'am," Leo said, acknowledging her.
Winona smiled at him and he was struck anew by the resemblance. "Doctor McCoy," she said. "A pleasure to finally meet you."
"Doctor McCoy," Spock said in his precise voice. "Please join us."
Leo nodded a wordless goodbye at Winona and moved to join Jim and the rest of the crew as they made their way to the door, the Enterprise's security team ringing them.
"You ready, Bones?" Jim asked him, tugging on his own jacket and then pulling at Leo's.
"Are you?" he asked Jim, looking into the familiar blue eyes.
Jim laughed, and shrugged, slapping Leo on the shoulder. "Does it matter?" he asked. "Buckle up, Bones," he said. "There might be more turbulence ahead."
And then the doors opened, and he heard the roar of the large crowd waiting for them, as they crossed the threshold together, surrounded by their friends.
+
Author's Endnote: I was intrigued to read that McCoy had belted an Admiral while still a Cadet. Even if it's canon from the book, obviously, I couldn't resist the idea.
Switch 44
Author:
ceres_liberaRating: R to NC-17
Summary: The life and times of Leonard H. McCoy MD/PhD … If Leonard McCoy's life could get any fucking weirder, it would be … Jesus, he didn't even want to think what that could possibly mean, because it's already been too fucking weird to make any kind of rational sense.
Canon: Based in the ST:XI universe, but strongly influenced by all canon ST-verses.
Characters: McCoy/Kirk, with eventual appearances by all other ST:XI characters.
Notes: Say ... remember back in the first chapter, when Leo was thinking about how it was the fourth night with no Jim in his bed? Well. This is night two, and the beginning of day three, of those four nights. Also, LJ notifications have been very wonky, so if I haven't responded to your comment, it might just be because I don't know it's there, but ... I do thank you. And Happy Hannukkah to those of you celebrating it!
+
Leo couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so tired, but honestly wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep. Absently, he tried to recall the long-term biochemical effects of a hyper-adrenalized state, but kept getting stuck on PTSD and anger. He couldn’t say if the former state would apply to him, but he was absolutely positive that the latter certainly did, although truthfully, he was by and large a relatively grumpy bastard. But in this situation, it wasn’t just him who was short-tempered because there was no doubt in his mind that Jim, Scotty, Pike and -- God help them all because he certainly was a scary motherfucker when he was angry -- Spock met that criteria.
Come to think of it, Scotty might meet the psychosis threshold, what with his state of near apoplexy as it had become clear that the Spacedock and Central Fleet Engineering were in agreement that the Enterprise could not make the jump into warp in its current state, even while being towed. Scotty’s heated insistence that the Enterprise would hold together in the jump to warp had been overruled. It was understandable –- the Fleet hadn’t just lost life, but an extraordinary number of ships –- so the Central Fleet’s concern about the structural integrity of its newest and largest flagship was understandable. Besides, although Leo was a doctor and not a structural engineer, even he understood that the forces exerted on the ship when it had been struggling to break away from the black hole had been of a magnitude never before measured. In the end, Scotty had been left to mournfully plea, “Oh, my lady,” when Jim and Pike had finally accepted that they were not going to change anyone’s mind.
Unlike Scotty, Leo had known that arriving at Spacedock would mean that he would soon be leaving his patients behind. What he hadn’t counted on was how wrenching it would be to transfer the Farragut crew who were still recovering. Gaila had been stoic, but the whispered conversations between her and Nyota had been marked with tears on both sides, and Leo had had to fight with himself to not insist that she continue on to Earth with them, despite knowing that it was neither regulation nor true medical necessity. He had stated that he believed that Gaila’s recovery would be expedited by her proximity to her friends, especially considering the traumatic circumstances of her injury and rescue, but Gaila’s own history of resilience had hampered his ability to carry that argument. Gaila had chosen to leave everything that she knew behind once before to achieve her freedom –- in view of that, a separation of a week’s time was considered negligible.
Even Spock couldn’t manage to sway the CMO of the Spacedock, a Denobulan doctor who seemed impervious to his arguments and appearance. Privately, Leo believed that Spock had thought that a Vulcan making a plea for the Orion to stay with them would be positively answered. After all, Dr. Ploss had originally argued that T’enev should stay at Spacedock as well, but allowed herself to be swayed by what was left of the Vulcan High Command when they had insisted that separating her from their group would not only be illogical but possibly detrimental, given her tenuous emotional state. However, what had swayed Dr. Ploss in T’enev’s case would not work in Gaila’s. Frankly, Leo had been stunned that Dr. Ploss hadn’t had contact burns from the weight of Spock’s smoldering gaze upon her after he saw Nyota’s tears.
The change in plans had also meant that it was necessary for the entire complement of the Enterprise’s personnel to be transferred over to the Potemkin for the return to Earth. Even with casualties, the crew that needed to be accommodated was more than twice what was already aboard the Potemkin, which meant that Leo was currently stumbling his way toward the shuttle bay where cots had been set out for the Enterprise crew to rest for the time they’d be aboard. Captain Benaka of the Potemkin had offered to house the command crew in better quarters than the rest of Enterprise’s staff, but Jim had barely glanced at the other senior officers to ascertain their position before he’d refused the offer. Starfleet was big on preservation of rank, but after what they’d been through in the past few days it was probably better that the Enterprise crew remain together, even in crowded quarters.
Leo only hoped that Jim would make it down to the shuttle bay at some point. He’d noticed how the crew responded to Jim, how they seemed to stand a little taller in his presence, the way that Jim could make tired faces brighten with a word or a smile. All the potential that Leo had seen -- so long ago it seemed now, that first day that he’d seen Jim with the KFF –- was being realized. But Scotty wasn’t the only one who would feel adrift now that they were no longer on the Enterprise. Without work to occupy their hands and minds, darker thoughts and bigger sorrows would seep in. Leo had known that it was only a matter of time, that once the crew got back to the Academy and separated, returning to empty dorms or God help them, empty homes, that the grief would begin to set in. Starfleet had lost so many people already, but … there were bound to be a number on the Enterprise who had survived but found themselves incapable of making the trip out into the black again.
Even with the shuttle bay lights on low, there was a hum of noise when Leo crossed the threshold. Crewmen were laying on cots, but there was very little sleeping going on from what Leo could see. Instead, Leo saw earnest conversations taking place between cots that had been pushed together so that they could hold more than two people. He noted crewmen sitting on the floor next to a friend in a bunk, talking in low voices. In the middle of the bay, a large card game was going on, with six or seven participants and several onlookers. Smaller games were being played elsewhere, even as some crewman lay on their bunks and read, others wrote letters or in journals. Even worse, some crewman just lay there, perfectly still, eyes opened but unfocused.
Leo walked by the loose rows of Enterprise personnel, acknowledging the stray ‘hey Doc’ from weary personnel with a nod. He had to resist the urge to stop and scan certain of them, knowing that they’d all been triaged at Spacedock earlier, and that many had already been referred to counseling. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were all of them his responsibility, or the worry that he felt at the sleeplessness and the haunted expressions that he saw.
He stopped and strode through the rows of crew members when he saw Uhura’s long ponytail hanging over the edge of a bed. She was curled on her side away from him, with her eyes closed, but the buds in her ears made it clear that she was most likely still awake, and listening to something. Still, he hesitated, almost turning away before she rolled onto her back.
“Leonard?” she asked, her tone sounding worried.
“Just checking on you, Nyota,” he said gruffly. “You were upset the last time I saw you.”
Nyota smiled softly, her long lashes closing over her eyes for a second before she looked up at him. “Thank you,” she said softly. “And thanks for trying.”
“Just doing my job,” he said. “I only wish they would have listened to me.”
“Me, too,” she said in a soft voice.
“She’ll be fine, Nyota,” Leo said quietly.
Nyota nodded. “I know,” she said softly. “After everything that’s happened, I know that my reasoning is illogical, but I feel like she’d be safer if she were with us.”
Leo nodded. “Darlin’ that’s a completely understandable point of view, and maybe it’s not as illogical as you think. After all, we survived something that most of the people we set out with didn’t.”
Nyota’s luminous eyes were thoughtful. “I know,” she said, “but we were on the Enterprise then, too.”
“Lieutenant,” Spock’s voice had an edge to it that Leo couldn’t quite identify, but nonetheless heard. “Is all well?”
My God, why didn’t the green-blooded bastard just say ‘is this man bothering you?’
“All is well, Commander,” Nyota said serenely.
“Do you require more blankets?” Spock asked.
Leo had crossed his arms over his chest in perturbation at Spock’s ridiculous posturing, but now he raised a hand to hide a smile behind it. Nyota had been laying on the bed with the covers piled on her lower legs, but now that she was sitting up, leaning back on one hand, her ridiculously short fleet uniform exposed quite a bit of her smooth toned thigh.
“I’m fine, Commander,” Nyota said, raising an eyebrow. “But thank you for being thoughtful.”
“Of course,” Spock said smoothly, his hands clasped behind him. It was clear that he had no intention of going anywhere while Leo was near his lover.
For the first time in days, Leo really could have laughed out loud. In fact, he felt the ragged edge of laughter threatening and knew that if it broke out that he’d be crying, too, so he quelled it with a scowl. “Where is the Captain, Spock?” he asked. Then clarified, “Kirk,” at Spock’s raised eyebrow.
“He should be concluding a communication with Starfleet Command within the next hour or so,” Spock said.
Leo sighed. “I hope that he can get a little sleep before we get back planetside,” he said. “I can’t imagine what kind of a clusterfuck that’s going to be.”
Spock’s eyebrow raised even higher. “My understanding of that particular term is not precise,” he said. “To what aspect do you refer?”
Leo shook his head. “Spock,” he said grimly. “Every news organization in the universe is going to want a piece of us.” And Jim, he thought, Jim especially.
Spock nodded. “Yes,” he said, “I expect they will. But I would also expect that Starfleet will keep them away from us.”
Leo looked from Spock to Uhura and back again in amazement. “Spock,” he said slowly. “George Kirk’s son defeated the madman who killed his father, and saved Earth from Vulcan’s fate. There’s no way that Starfleet isn’t going to want to play that story up. Hell, I thought they were relentless last month when it was the 25th anniversary of the Kelvin’s destruction, but that? That’s going to seem like a picnic compared to what we’re in for.” Nyota was seriously considering his words. “The press is going to be all over us,” he said. “You and Jim most of all, Spock.” He put a hand on the man’s shoulder briefly. “You better prepare yourself. Nyota,” he said turning to the younger woman, “it’s always lovely to speak with you, darlin’.”
He moved through the rest of the command crew to an empty bunk on the periphery that already had his gear on it. Raji and Sen occupied two of the nearby cots, and they watched as he shucked his boots and laid down. “You guys should try and get some sleep,” he said, keeping his tone kind but firm.
“Kinda loud,” Raji said, but he lay down.
Leo thought about how quiet it was likely to be back on campus and had to suppress a shiver. He pulled the blanket up to his neck and rolled over onto his side. “Just give it a shot,” he said. “You’ve maybe got an hour to get some shut eye before we’re back dirtside.” He closed his own eyes.
“Is Jim onboard?” Sen asked.
Leo opened his eyes. “He’s on a comm,” he said.
“OK,” Sen said, laying down and closing his eyes.
Jim Kirk, lucky charm, Leo thought, watching both Raji and Sen settle down after having heard that reassurance. Then he closed his own eyes again and willed himself to sleep.
+
When he opened his eyes again, Jim was leaning with his head against his knees, eyes incredibly blue over the black fabric, watching him. God, he looked exhausted.
“Jim,” Leo said, clearing his throat. “You gotten any sleep in the past 48?”
Jim shrugged, but he didn’t answer otherwise.
“We almost dirtside?” Leo asked, stretching.
“Yeah,” Jim said, voice muffled.
Leo squinted and looked at him. “Your back bugging you, Jim?”
“Pike made the doc upstairs put a regen blanket on me while we were talking,” he said, sidestepping the question neatly.
“Good idea,” he said. He’d swiped one of them from the Enterprise himself earlier, for just that reason. He scratched at his chest and flipped open his comm to see the time, drawing down his brows in consternation. “Why the fuck are we still in transit?” he asked Jim in a low growl.
Jim reached out a hand and snagged the end of Leo’s cot, pulling it toward the bulkhead he was braced against. He turned so that his back was to the cot, and then tilted his head in Leo's direction.
Leo pushed the pillow over so that if Jim put his head back, it wouldn’t be resting on the bar of the cot. “Jim?” he asked, sure that he wasn’t going to like the answer.
“We’re still in transit, Bones,” Jim said flatly, “so that we’ll be back on Earth just in time for the morning news on the East Coast of North America.”
“Goddamnit,” Leo said. “Those motherfuckers.” He looked up and even in the low light of the shuttle bay he could see that Spock was awake and unless he missed his guess, listening to their conversation.
“Yeah,” Jim said. He let his head fall back heavily and scrubbed a hand over his face.
Leo’s hands itched to touch him, to do something to soothe him, but he was conscious of their lack of privacy. He was, in fact, hyperaware of the fact that there were hundreds of people around them, all of whom had comms with vid capacity. He wasn’t concerned about the Enterprise crew, but even in the low light, it was obvious that there were more people wandering around this section of the shuttle bay than there had been previously, all of them seemingly trying to get a glimpse of Jim’s bright head. Leo scowled at the thought, remembering how Jim had gone to ground just weeks before to avoid the glare of publicity over the Kelvin’s 25th anniversary. He wouldn’t be able to do the same thing this time.
“Jesus, Jim,” Leo said, curling as close to Jim as he dared. “This is going to suck, isn’t it?”
Jim’s blue eyes gleamed at him in the half-light, a bemused half-smile curling his generous lips. There were still faint rings of bruises around his eyes and on his throat. “And not in the good way, Bones,” he agreed, trying for levity. He stared at Leo for an instant longer, his eyes bleak.
“Just rest for a few minutes, kid,” Leo sighed. “At least until we get there.”
Jim’s eyes dropped closed and he smiled again, but he was quiet until the ship’s broadcast about them docking at San Francisco High was announced.
+
It was strange to be back in his Cadet reds, stranger still to see so much of the command crew returned to them as well. It made them look younger somehow, reminded Leo of exactly what had been accomplished, and what had been lost.
They’d been standing outside the Potemkin’s transporter room for well over an hour while the crew was beamed down in shifts. The command crew would be the last to go down, and although Jim had argued that Captain Pike should be the very last one to beam off the ship, he’d been overruled by Dr. Boyce, who was understandably anxious to see how his longtime friend was doing. Pike and T’enev had beamed down first, and then they’d been lined up in the hallway with some PR apparatchik who’d beamed up to scrutinize them. The apparatchik, whose name Leo had already forgotten, had pissed Leo off by stopping Leo from running a regen on Jim’s face, stating that Jim should stay as he was for ‘verisimilitude’.
Leo, who had waited to start regenerating Jim's bruises until the only members of the crew left were those that he trusted, had bristled at the word, pointing out that it wasn’t verisimilitude when it had actually occurred, but from the puzzled frown on the Commander’s face he could tell that he hadn’t been understood. It was extremely galling, to say the least. Besides, they were going to be beamed down into an area with only Starfleet personnel before they’d be allowed to go to where their families, and the press would be. The press wouldn’t be allowed to actually interview them at this time, but they sure as hell would be allowed to take video of happy family reunions, to record what should be private, between spouses, and parents and children. He was half-hoping that Gram wouldn’t be waiting for him, but knew that she would weather whatever would happen. His other half was grinding its teeth at the idea that Jim would most likely not have anyone waiting for him in the family waiting area –- other than Gram, that was.
When Commander PR Drone had been distracted by his constantly buzzing comm, the Bridge crew came to tell Jim that the senior staff was intending to wait for him in beam down area.
“We’re going to walk out of there as a team,” Sulu said firmly, Chekov nodding next to him.
“Besides,” Scotty said, “the more of us there are, the harder it’ll be for them to get to ye and Mr. Spock. The Security boyos are going to wait for us, too.”
Jim had looked from face to face of the group around him, his eyes stopping on Spock and then on Leo, as if seeking their approval.
“I think it’s a fine idea, Jim,” Leo said.
“I concur,” Spock said.
A ghost of a smile appeared on Jim’s tired face, but behind it Leo could sense the surprise that he felt but wasn’t showing. “Thank you, Mr. Sulu,” he said to the earnest young man who’d presented the plan.
“No sir, thank you,” Sulu said emphatically. He held out a hand. “I hope that we have the chance to serve together again, Captain.”
Jim smiled honestly then, and shook the Lieutenant’s hand, clasping him on the shoulder. As Leo watched, the remaining members of the Enterprise that were aboard lined up to shake hands with a clearly touched Jim, before the next group was called into the transporter room.
Jim was silent, leaning against the wall while the next few groups were called in.
“What’re you thinking about, Jim?” Leo asked.
“Debriefings,” Jim said, then looked at Leo before dropping his eyes to his hands. “The press.”
Leo began to fidget with the ring on his finger, only consciously realizing what he was doing when he saw Jim’s gaze slide over to his hands. He realized with a start that he should give the ring back but before he could even voice the thought, Jim started speaking again.
“What happens next,” he said.
“Pardon?” Leo asked.
Jim turned toward him so that his back was to Spock, Uhura, Scotty, Chekov and Sulu. Leo heard the echo of the elder Spock’s words as he realized with a start that the nucleus, the family that he had described, were those standing closest to them.
“That’s what I’m thinking about,” Jim said slowly, “what happens next.” Jim’s eyes were incredibly blue in the bright light of the Potemkin’s halls and there was something in the way he said the words, so deliberately, something in the way his lashes dropped over his eyes when he looked down at his father’s ring on Leo’s hand before he looked up at him again, that made Leo almost need to catch his breath.
He searched Jim’s expression, seeing his seriousness and his sincerity, but damned the circumstances that continuously seemed to be conspiring against them.
Jim’s eyes dropped to regard the ring again, just as Commander PR Drone, clapped -- literally clapped at them like they were five year olds -- to get them to go into the transporter room. “All except you, Commander Spock, and you Acting Captain Kirk,” he said in an obnoxious tone.
“What?” Leo asked, clearly irritated. He could smell Uhura’s perfume, and knew that she’d appeared by his side.
“You five,” he waved his hand dismissively, “beam down now, and then the Commander and the Captain will beam down last.”
“I recognize that there are only six stations on the transporter pad, Commander Ellsbridge,” Spock inserted smoothly, before anyone else could speak. “But protocol decrees that the Captain should be the last person off the ship.”
“But this isn’t his ship,” Commander Ellsbridge said with a toothsome smile, “so that doesn’t necessarily apply here. Besides, you and the Captain were the team that defeated the Romulans, so …”
Leo didn’t think he’d ever seen Jim’s back so stiff. “The entire team was integral to the success of the plan,” he said. “We formulated it together, and we all had our roles.”
“I’m sure,” the Commander said airily, dismissing Jim’s protests. “Nonetheless, you and Commander Spock will beam down together, at the end.”
“I believe,” Spock said, “that we were told that only Starfleet personnel will be waiting for us upon our immediate arrival.”
“Yes,” the Commander said. “And?”
“Then I fail to see the point in breaking the protocol,” Spock answered.
Jim’s smile was grim. “So that they have a story to tell in their press releases, right, Commander?”
His smile was patently false in return. “It’s all about presentation,” he answered. “And it’s an order from the Admiralty.”
“For the love of –-" Leo began to say in protest, but he followed the others as they stomped into the transporter room, Spock and Jim trailing behind. They stood side by side behind the work station on the Potemkin and watched them swirl away. Jim’s expression was the last thing he saw before the white overtook him, and he carried the weight of his tight miserable appearance with him as he rematerialized a blessed eyeblink later.
He was still shaking himself out when he moved into the waiting area outside the transport bay and heard, “Leonard!” and turned to find himself with arms full of Patty Stefanakis.
“Oh, thank God,” she was saying over and over as she hugged him. He could feel her trembling against him and he bent down so she could kiss him, which she did, clasping his head in both of her hands. “Thank God, thank God, thank God.”
“I’m fine, Patty,” he said to her, and she drew back and looked at him, her face covered with tears.
“I sincerely fucking doubt that, my friend,” she said, “but you are alive, and that is all I care about.”
She let go of him, and before Leo could offer his condolences about Shohreh he was surprised to see Harry Yu standing right behind her, but even more so when the huge man engulfed him in a hug and picked him right up off the ground.
“Jesus, McCoy,” he said. “It’s good to see you.”
“How’s Paul?” Leo asked, when he could breathe again.
“He’s fine,” he answered. “Upset. He wanted to come, but he's on duty.”
Leo nodded, and was about to ask after other colleagues when he heard Yu exclaim, “Jim!” The crowd of Starfleet personnel broke out in applause at the sight of Jim, and Leo watched him walk through the crowds, looking uncomfortable in a way that was probably only obvious to him, as people shook his hand and patted him on the back and told him that he was a hero. At least they weren’t touching Spock, who was radiating a serene yet clear message of ‘don’t fuck with me’.
Jim looked relieved when he saw Leo and moved through the crowd toward him, giving Leo an absolutely clear view of the utter shock on Jim’s face when Patty launched herself at him and wrapped him up in a hug. The expression on Jim's face went from closed to touched as Patty cried, holding onto him and whispering, “Thank God you’re all right, Jim.” She pulled back from him and smiled tremulously, looking at him. “I was so worried about you.”
The smile that Jim flashed her in return was sincere and heartfelt –- Leo could tell that Jim hadn’t expected being appreciated for simply being alive, that he was expecting more of the hero worship to which he’d already been subjected -- and Leo only turned around when he heard a sound of protest from behind him after something metallic hit the ground.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Cupcake was saying to somebody who was clearly a member of the PR team, and had been holding a holovid recorder until Cupcake had knocked him over. “That was so clumsy of me. Let me help you up.” Another red-shirted crewmember that Leo recognized from the Enterprise moved over to help Hanlon and somehow they both managed to step on the camera.
Leo had to give Hanlon credit, the boy was surprisingly nimble for his size, and clearly could think on his feet. The hapless videographer scowled as he collected his shattered equipment, and cleared the room with an assistant, muttering about getting other cameras from the outside press area.
“Not bad,” Yu said in low voice right next to Leo's ear.
Leo shook his head in wonder, turning back to see Patty wiping her eyes and stepping back from Jim. The crowd of strangers had thinned out as the phalanx of Enterprise crew who had waited for Jim and Spock to appear had managed to circle them and keep outsiders from getting to close to their Captain. Here and there, Leo saw a few faces that he recognized from the Academy, instructors like Harry who'd used their clearance to get into the room.
“Jimbo!” Yu said, picking up Jim in a bear hug and squeezing.
“Harry!” Leo roared, “his ribs!”
Jim was laughing, though, his face flushed and happy. Still, he bent over a little and braced his hands on his knees when Harry put him down, and Leo couldn’t stop himself from hurrying over to scan him despite Jim’s protests.
“I find that I approve of the doctor's solicitousness,” a voice said from behind him with a kind of oily affect that Leo could not help but recognize. “After all, I’m going to need you in tip-top shape for the next few days.”
”Excuse me?” Jim said, still catching his breath as he straightened up. “Admiral?”
“Howlett,” the man practically purred, and Jim blanched, even before he added with satisfaction, “And this time, Mr. Kirk, you will not be able to escape me. You owe me, and you owe Starfleet, and I intend to see that you pay.”
There was something so smugly self-satisfied about Howlett's tone, and all Leo could think about was the misery on Jim's face that night on the hill outside San Francisco, and the idea, the idea that Jim owed Starfleet anything when he had saved the lives of every single being on this planet … for the first time in his life, Leo understood what it meant to be so infuriated that you saw red, because a wash of color flared up in his peripheral vision as red as the Cadet uniforms around him, or the blood of the human injured and the maimed that he’d tried to heal, and he just … the scanner was still in his right hand when he clenched it as he turned, so without conscious thought he hauled off and threw the punch with his left arm, feeling a kind of satisfaction he’d never before felt when it connected solidly with Admiral Howlett’s jaw and his head snapped back as he fell to the ground.
There was a collective intake of breath, like a gasp, and then a murmur of voices that was eclipsed by Jim's anguished cry of "Bones!" as he wrapped his arms around him and pulled Leo back.
Howlett lay on the floor but pushed himself up to a sitting position unsteadily, rubbing at his jaw, his eyes furious and snapping. "I’ll have you in the brig for that, McCoy. I owe you that much."
He pulled his hand away from his jaw as he spoke and Leo could only note with satisfaction, despite his pounding heart, that there was a discoloration from George Kirk’s ring. And God help him, he liked seeing that, felt a deep pleasure at knowing that he'd been able to throw that punch, maybe for the both of them in some way.
"I don’t think so," a voice said from behind him, and he heard and felt Jim's intake of breath at the cool, measured tone, feminine but with an edge like steel.
He turned with Jim, and even without an introduction, he would have recognized the woman walking toward them in Science blues for who she was. Jim's jawline was an echo of hers, the set of the eyes the same, even though their color was a darker and more stormy blue.
"Commander Kirk," Howlett said, waving off Ellsbridge's hand and standing up, pulling his shirt over his ample belly. "I can hardly see how this would matter to you, but you have no authority here."
"Really?" Winona Kirk said, coming over to stand next to her son and Leo. She looked at Jim for a long instant, her mouth softening into something not quite a smile.
"Mom …" Jim said in a tone of voice that Leo had never before heard him use.
Winona Kirk laid a hand on her son's arm. "Trust me," she said to Jim in a voice so quiet that Leo was sure that only he and Jim had heard it.
In profile, mother and son resembled each other even more strongly with their willowy frames and stern jawlines. Leo watched as Jim's eyes flicked back and forth over his mother's, the set of his brow telling him that trust and his mother weren't necessarily compatible notions in Jim's mind. Their silent communication lasted for a few seconds longer, and then Winona turned back to Howlett and spoke in her clear, cool voice. She left her hand on her son's arm.
"And how is it, Admiral Howlett," she said, "that this is none of my business?"
Howlett straightened up from where he'd been dusting off his pants, lifting his jaw. "It's assault on a senior office," Howlett said simply. "Open and shut."
Leo watched as Winona's eyes narrowed and turned from the developing bruise on Howlett's face to his hands. He saw the faintest ghost of a smile flicker over her face as she focused on the ring on his left hand, before she returned her attention to Howlett and said. "I hardly think that anything you'd have to say is going to carry any weight after I submit copies of all of the messages you left for me in January to the Admiralty," she said clearly. "All the hectoring and the bullying -- the threats," she emphasized, "of what you would do to me, of the stories that you'd make sure were released, if I wouldn't consent to interviews about the 25th anniversary of my husband's death."
Howlett had stopped fussing with his pants. "There's nothing on those messages that I'm ashamed of," he said.
"Really?" Winona said. "Not even the one that you left me after I begged you, I begged you, not to release the tape of my husband's and my last conversation?"
Leo was standing close enough to Jim that he could feel Jim's muscles hardening, hear his respiration increasing and becoming harsh. He didn't need to glance down to know that Jim's hands were clenched into fists, and he put a hand on Jim's back, glancing over to where Harry Yu stood. One nod let him know that Harry was ready to intercede if things got worse.
Howlett appeared to be carefully considering what to say next, and Leo noted that his attaché Ellsbridge looked more than a bit discomfited by Winona's words.
"I heard later," Winona said evenly, "that there were other members of the Admiralty, members who'd served with my husband, or me, or our fathers," she stressed, "who were unhappy about the release of those tapes. Now," she said with a cold smile, "exactly how unhappy do you think they'll be when they hear you threatening me, the widow of one of Starfleet's greatest heroes, and the mother of another?" She paused and took a step forward. "I think," she said, "that when I tell the Admiralty why I did it, that they'll believe that I was entirely justified in hitting a senior officer who threatened me in such a fashion."
Howlett laughed. "That won't work," he said.
Winona Kirk flipped open her comm and scrolled backwards with an air of nonchalance.
"There's no need –- " Howlett began.
Winona smiled and pressed a button. "Commander Kirk," Howlett said in a snide voice, "you know there really is some very interesting reading in your personnel file –- not to mention that of your son. I've tried to be reasonable, but if you persist in not returning my calls, I'm afraid that some of this interesting information may become public. Security breaches, while regrettable, can and do occur and …" Winona snapped her comm shut while Howlett's recorded voice was still speaking.
There was absolute silence in the room, and Leo looked around, seeing the hard expressions on the knot of people that surrounded them.
"I don't think," she said clearly, "that anyone here would blame me for belting you in the mouth."
Howlett smiled, but it was cold, the smile of a man used to getting his own way, to spinning the story to his own advantage, whatever that might be. "Only one problem with your scenario," he said, then waved a hand in Leo's direction. "Dr. McCoy assaulted me, not you."
Winona Kirk's answering smile was toothy and all-too reminiscent of one that Leo had seen over the past few years, and if he hadn't known where to look he would have missed it when she lashed out and belted Howlett but good, as Jim surged forward only to be cut off by a wall of red shirts.
Leo blinked and sidestepped the Enterprise's security team and saw Howlett sagging against a disgusted looking Ellsbridge before he pushed him away, Howlett still staggering.
"Easily remedied," Winona Kirk said in a suspiciously mild tone, shaking out her hand and inspecting her knuckles.
And damn, Leo thought, Jim Kirk had gotten more than his stubbornness and a fair part of his good looks from his mama, because that right hook had looked mighty familiar.
"And now," Winona said, taking a step closer to the Admiral, "it will be your word against mine."
"You'll never get away with this," Howlett spat, "not with all these witnesses."
Leo looked around at again at the crowd as Jim got to his mother's side and stood there, chest heaving, staring at her, wide-eyed.
Winona looked at her son, and then around at the crowd, meeting the eyes of person after person. "I think," she said mildly, "that I'll take my chances."
"Mom," Jim protested in a worried tone, while Howlett raged in the background. The Enterprise's security crew had moved to cut off his access to Jim and made an impenetrable phalanx that he couldn't get around.
"Jim," Winona said with a soft smile. "Your crew is waiting for their Captain to walk out with them."
"Mom …" Jim repeated gently, but Winona caught his chin and turned his head so that he could see them all, the Bridge crew, the department heads, and senior officers and a fair number of cadets. Spock and Scotty stood shoulder to shoulder with Uhura, Chekhov and Sulu, waiting.
"C'mon, Captain," Nyota said, waving them forward.
"I'll see you later, Jim," Winona said, stepping up on her toes to press a kiss to Jim's cheek. "I promise." She gave Jim a small push in the direction of the crew, and then turned to look at Leo with a stare that clearly said, 'what are you waiting for?'
"Ma'am," Leo said, acknowledging her.
Winona smiled at him and he was struck anew by the resemblance. "Doctor McCoy," she said. "A pleasure to finally meet you."
"Doctor McCoy," Spock said in his precise voice. "Please join us."
Leo nodded a wordless goodbye at Winona and moved to join Jim and the rest of the crew as they made their way to the door, the Enterprise's security team ringing them.
"You ready, Bones?" Jim asked him, tugging on his own jacket and then pulling at Leo's.
"Are you?" he asked Jim, looking into the familiar blue eyes.
Jim laughed, and shrugged, slapping Leo on the shoulder. "Does it matter?" he asked. "Buckle up, Bones," he said. "There might be more turbulence ahead."
And then the doors opened, and he heard the roar of the large crowd waiting for them, as they crossed the threshold together, surrounded by their friends.
+
Author's Endnote: I was intrigued to read that McCoy had belted an Admiral while still a Cadet. Even if it's canon from the book, obviously, I couldn't resist the idea.
Switch 44
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:38 am (UTC)So many fics make her either a raging bitch or a completely broken victim. Obviously, she's nowhere near the perfect mother, but I just adore the way she stepped up to protect her son and the person her son loves best.
And the glance at the ring? Oh, how that made me smile!
Poor Jim and Bones and Spock and the rest of the crew, with the press and the slimy PR folks (though, having worked in PR, I have to say they're not *all* bad...only mostly LOL). I see the need for much comfort for them all. Preferably of the horizontal kind. Hehehehe...
At least now that they're back on Earth, our boys will get some private time, yes? Pleeeeeease? :-D
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Date: 2009-12-17 03:22 am (UTC)Very, very soon. I promise. And I'm happy that you're enjoying this still, slimy PR folks and all. (And just to clarify -- I don't think they're all slime, just ... there are always some who'll want to work the story for their own reasons, and not necessarily in the best interests of those who are most affected by it.)
no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:39 am (UTC)It's official. ILU.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:40 am (UTC)But the entire chapter as a whole was really good. I like how you're handling the aftermath of the Narada. I think it's being done in a very mature and realistic way. These people have been through hell and back and what they're going through is completely believable.
But I also love the togetherness you're starting to show with the command crew. It's what you said in the last chapter about the crew starting to really come to life. I love the fact that they just want to stick together and be there for Jim and Spock.
Oh and Cupcake ftw. I find myself really enjoying his characterization here. Funny yet he means business.
Once again...go Winona and Bones and really just the whole crew.
loved it.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:40 am (UTC)Jim seeing his mom again? ♥ :)
Fabulous update!
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Date: 2009-12-17 03:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:41 am (UTC)*ahem* Back to your regularly scheduled programming, people. Nothing to see here.
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Date: 2009-12-17 03:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:42 am (UTC)OH YAY!!!!!
And the appearance of Winona....I absolutely love this series. And the only thing my vocabulary can come up with right now as it flails is You Rock.
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Date: 2009-12-17 03:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:55 am (UTC)I like this exploration of all the aftermath that we didn't see in the movie. I think one of the biggest shortcomings of the movie was how they went for all the rah-rah Hollywood happy happy at the end, without adequately touching on the tragedy and trauma of the survivors.
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Date: 2009-12-17 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 04:57 am (UTC)Oh, I love Winona being there to meet her son coming home and defending him.
Bones is just THERE for Jim and yeah, I love him SOO much.
Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 05:02 am (UTC)This chapter kicks ass! Your Winona, while not necessarily lovable, is a total BAMF. Also: crew = family, I'm totally loving that. I love the way you write them, the named crew, the unnamed crew, individually and as a whole. They rock my little fan-girl world. ^____^
And I'm so glad you're writing about what happens when they get back to Earth, before the whole ceremony, and the PR aspect. There isn't enough fic out there that talk about it.
So this chapter made me happy indeed! :D
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Date: 2009-12-17 03:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 05:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 05:04 am (UTC)*fist pump*
Love your Winona, being fierce and protecting her son. (And his Bones, hee) Also, OverprotctiveLooming!Spock is adorable.
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Date: 2009-12-17 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 05:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 05:26 am (UTC)I also love the emotions of the crew, the way they're supporting Jim. It all fits together so nicely.
I'm actually not quite sure why you're apologizing. Am I missing something here? *is confused*
Anyway, nice chapter! I wish I could get past my own writer's block and make some progress on my stuff! I've got more than half a dozen things started right now, and can't seem to make any headway!
Also random... we both used the word "consternation" in our most recent stuff - this chapter of yours, and a short story of mine that got posted today on a holiday exchange community. :D
EDA: (Also, don't hate me... but I found something right at the beginning of the chapter that made me shake my head. Did they replace the warp core at spacedock? Because the Enterprise jettisoned its warp core to escape the black hole... so even if the ship was otherwise structurally sound, there was no way the ship was going to warp anyway. And a warp core is a HUGE deal. Spacedocks don't keep spares. Shipyards construct new ones as needed. So yeah, that little bit about possibly going to warp made me do a double take.)
(And also... the long-term effects of a hyper-adrenalized state include possible cardiac arrhythmia and heart muscle weakness in susceptible individuals, and with enough adrenaline for long enough, even non-susceptible individuals. You can remind our poor exhausted McCoy now. *grins*)
no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:33 am (UTC)And I'll go back and adjust the chapter at some point so that I'm more clear. They've got no warp capacity, but a friend pointed out that he thought it unlikely that the ship could be towed at warp, considering the likely structural damage that had occurred.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 05:27 am (UTC)And Patty- oh, patty....
I love it!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-12 05:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 03:34 am (UTC)